Are You a Step Parent or a Second Class Parent?

Step parents face challenges that many other parents do not face whatsoever. One of these problems is respect. What should a step parent do when they feel like they've lost that respect? Here are a few tips.

Blended families are pretty much the norm nowadays. From the Brady's to (dare I say it) the Kardashians, blended families are everywhere. But what can you do if you married someone who has a child or children from a previous relationship? Whether you are ready or not, in that situation you will be stepping into the shoes of a parent and if you do not already have children of your own, you will undoubtedly have an interesting road ahead of you.

It could be said that becoming a step parent to a baby or toddler is very different from becoming a step parent to a tween, teen or a child whose age in between four and 10 years old. As with any other parenting challenge, the key is to stay positive. Easier said than done in certain situations, I know.

One of the things that you must do is to keep the lines of communication open with your spouse especially when it comes to parenting. Find out their parenting style and creatively come up with ways to balance that style. Develop tough skin, because there may be times when you just might hear the words, "you're not my real mother/father!" Be prepared to respond to this sternly yet with compassion letting your stepson or stepdaughter that you are their real parent regardless of your last name or blood type, you are there in their lives because you care and love them.

Realize that there can be light at the end of the tunnel and consider taking multiple approaches to parenting. Remember that you are your child's (biological or step child) parent first, so avoid trying to overcompensate your role in their lives by being a friend.

Consider sitting down with your step child (or step children) and hear them out. Do they like you and this new situation? Are they playing the blame game and what are their expectations, if any? This is not to say that you are going to be a doormat to them, but it will help you understand where they are coming from. Additionally, hearing them out will give you an upper hand on how to perfect your parenting strategies. Remember that mutual respect is essential, so if you are not giving respect to your step children, you can't really expect to get it.

Parenting is a wonderful journey and each day you will learn something new. If you are a step parent, consider making friendships with other parents who have gone through what you are going through, and realize that you are not a second class parent - you are a parent who plays a crucial role in the lives of your children.

With a byline that has run nationwide, this former journalist turned author is a parenting expert and writes fictional works. Her work has been featured in several publications.